


What's In A Name

by cleo4u2



Category: Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Bucky has the arm, Happy Ending, M/M, Mind the Tags, Supportive coming out, This is a coming out fic from the pov of someone NOT coming out, Unintentional misuse of pronouns, Use of dead name, trans!bucky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-09
Updated: 2017-08-09
Packaged: 2018-12-13 09:12:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11756658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cleo4u2/pseuds/cleo4u2
Summary: Steve has always know his best friend will be his soulmate. So when he wakes up with the name of a guy on his arm that he's never heard of, he's devastated. Thankfully, Bucky has a surprise in store for him.Fromthisprompt on tumblr.





	What's In A Name

**Author's Note:**

> Beta'd by the one and only Glow Cloud, [NurseDarry](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NurseDarry/profile). ALL HAIL.
> 
> Thanks so much to [L1av](https://archiveofourown.org/users/L1av/profile) for taking a look at this to try to keep me from making horrible mistakes. I still probably failed, but I hope no one is too terrible offended. If you are, let me know and I'll see what I can do to fix it (unless you're transphobic and then gtfo).

Since he was a kid, Steve knew Bucky is his soulmate. If Steve’s honest, he’s in love with his best friend. There’s no one else like Bunny Barnes; no one as strong, as unique, generous, or smart. She’s a dancer, an incredibly caring big sister, the first friend Steve ever made, and in the running for Valedictorian. Bucky hates her name, so she doesn’t go by it, hadn’t even as kids, but Steve is one of the few people entrusted with the secret of her first name. They’re so close, Bucky’s family has practically adopted him. 

So when Steve rolls over on his eighteenth birthday and sees the name “James Barnes” instead of Bunny Barnes, his heart plummets in his chest. Who the hell is James Barnes anyways? The last name is right, but Steve has been to more family gatherings than Bucky has and he had never met a James. He’s pretty sure there isn’t a James among all the extended cousins and uncles he’s met, either. He isn’t sure he minds, for that matter. Soulmate mark, or no, Steve is in love with Bucky.

\----

It had started in second grade. Steve was the new kid; his parents had died in a car accident and he’d been shipped off to live with an aunt he’d never met. Being the new kid is never easy, but Steve had been especially small, spoke with a lisp from the recent loss of his two front teeth, and was angry with the world. 

Yet, Bunny had taken one look at him, stuck out her hand, and said, “I’m Bucky.” It had been that simple, that easy, and they’d been best friends ever since. Even when Steve got in fights with other kids, or when he got in fights with his Aunt Peggy, Bucky was always there for him. Steve wasn’t sure he’d been quite as good a friend, but Bucky was the best person Steve knew and it was hard to live up to that.

\----

“So?”

Bucky’s voice over the phone makes Steve’s heart squeeze again. Why couldn’t it be Bunny’s name on his arm?

“I don’t know him,” Steve says. 

“Oh.”

The silence on the phone lingers strangely, but Steve doesn’t know what else to say. You don’t tell people your soulmate’s name until you meet them. His Aunt has already given him his armband to keep the name hidden. It’s another reminder that Bucky’s name could be sitting on someone else’s arm right now.

\----

Steve had almost lost Bucky in seventh grade. When the call came in, Steve had had a break down. First his parents, then Bucky, lost because of fucking cars crashing. She hadn’t died, and Steve had thanked any god listening for that, but she’d lost her left arm. The prosthetic was cool, shiny, silvery metal with a red star she’d picked out on the shoulder. It’s thick and muscular. They’d offered to change it, make it smaller, but Bucky had just promised to make her flesh arm match. I was more than just a missing limb, though. It was the left arm, the arm a person gained their soul mark on on their eighteenth birthday. 

“Did it hurt?”

Bucky frowned, looking down at her arm. Her left arm. It was her first day back at school after the crash, the surgery, and her physical therapy. Steve hadn’t known how to react at first, but in the end he’d just been happy to have his best friend with him. It didn’t matter if she wasn’t the same, or missing an arm, or if she would never know her soulmate’s name until their soulmate found her. 

“Yeah,” she said quietly, rubbing at the joint of her shoulder and chest. “Still does, but…” Holding out her hand, Bucky moved all her new, steel fingers, forming them into a fist. “Just imagine if the football team tries to pick on you now. They’ll eat metal.”

Steve had smiled, even as his heart hurt for his friend. 

“Do you, you know…”

“What?” Bucky demanded, eyeing Steve, daring him to say it.

“Want me to call you Bunny now?”

Bucky had moved so fast, slapping her hand over Steve’s mouth and darting her eyes around the middle school bleachers. There was no one in sight, so she stepped back and just glared at Steve. 

“No,” she snapped. “That’s stupid. It’s a stupid name. Call me Bucky.”

“But…” Steve began, but closed his mouth and mimed zipping his lips when she just glared harder. It was odd, because her soulmate couldn’t find her if everyone called her Bucky. Then again, Steve hadn’t cared. He’d still been certain he’d find Bunny’s name on his arm on his eighteenth birthday. No one else ever needed to know her name.

\----

When Steve sees Bucky after his birthday, he says, “We should call you by your name.”

Bucky’s head comes up so fast, staring at him with hurt and incredulousness, Steve can’t hold her eyes. They’re a beautiful, steel blue that he’s doodled in his sketch book for years. Now they’re seniors and Steve has to, somehow, get over her. He isn’t sure how he’s supposed to do that when Bucky is… Well, Bucky is perfect. They don’t always get along, but they’ve never had a fight they can’t get past.

“I hate my name,” Bucky protests. “Steve, you know I hate my name.”

“It’s not… so bad,” Steve mumbles.

“It is bad,” Bucky argues, sitting forward and letting her pencil fall out of her hand. “It’s a stripper’s name, Steve. Do I look like a stripper to you?”

Steve opens his mouth and Bucky smacks him upside the head. It’s not as easy, now he’s had a growth spurt and is taller than Bucky, but she’s adjusted quickly.

“Halloween last year doesn’t count! That was a joke! You went as a pimp; does that make you a pimp? Because I will hurt you if you’re taking advantage of some girls like that.”

“Calm down!” Steve hisses, leaning away from Bucky. “I’m just saying, if your soulmate doesn’t know your name, you won’t find them.”

Rolling her eyes, Bucky says, “Is that all?” and goes back to work. 

Steve opens his mouth, angry, meaning to say it matters, and closes it again. If it doesn’t matter to Bucky, Steve can’t make it. Especially not when Steve isn’t really mad at Bucky, or her name, even. What’s making him so testy is that Bucky isn’t Steve’s anything. She belongs with... well, they don’t know yet, but someone has Bunny Barnes written on their arm. Someone who isn’t Steve.

\----

“You’ve been distant,” Bucky says a week later. She’s hopped onto Steve’s bus home when he hadn’t climbed on to her’s. Fair, since he hasn’t been to Bucky’s house all week, longer than ever before. “My mom wants to know if you’re still coming to the bar-be-que this weekend.”

“Bucky,” Steve starts, but she doesn’t let him get another word in.

“I don’t know what happened with your soulmark,” she says quickly, “if that’s what this is all about, or something else, I know you don’t wanna say. You don’t have to, but… Steve, we’ve been best friends all our lives. I don’t want to lose that just because you’re dealing with your sexuality.” Steve blinks. “I don’t care if you’re gonna fall in love with a guy. I didn’t care when we thought you were straight. I know it can’t be easy, having it all happen this way, but you’re always going to be my best friend, no matter who you love.”

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Steve jerks Bucky into a rough hug. That isn’t the problem. It hasn’t even occurred to Steve that James being a guy would mean something to the people who knows him. It doesn’t mean anything to Steve except that Bucky isn’t his soulmate. Yet to hear that Steve’s behavior has made Bucky doubt their friendship, or that Steve would fear Bucky caring if he’s gay…

“Steve?” Bucky asks, patting him awkwardly on the back.

“I’m bi,” Steve mumbles. He isn’t going to tell the truth about his feelings, but Bucky deserves some truth for this. For being the amazing friend she always is.

“So, um,” Bucky says carefully, “you’ll come this weekend?”

“Absolutely,” Steve says, sitting back. “And, um, sorry, Buck.”

Bucky bumps his shoulder and grins crookedly.

“That’s alright. I always knew you were a punk.”

\----

Steve gets to the Barnes’ family barbecue a little before noon. It’s the usual time, but Bucky’s nowhere in sight. Before he can look for her, Steve is swept into a tight hug by Winnie Barnes, the family matriarch. 

“Stevie!” Winnie croons. “Baby, we haven’t seen you in a week! How’ve you been? You need to eat more, you’re getting skinny again.”

“I’m fine, Momma Barnes,” Steve says, ducking his head. Once upon a time, he would never have imagined being taller than the larger-than-life Winnifred Barnes. “Where’s Bucky?”

“Oh,” Winnie huffs the word, glancing up at the ceiling, “she’s locked herself in her room. Some big todo this morning. Don’t you fret, she’ll be down when everyone arrives. Has a big announcement. Come on, you can help me prepare the plates.”

Smiling, Steve follows, a little ashamed he has stayed away so long. There are the usual piles of food, prepped and only needing plating. Soon, Steve is awash in the sounds of Winnie talking, the motions of placing food on dishes neatly, and the sounds family coming in and through, greeted by Bucky’s little sister, Rebecca.

By the time the food is ready for grilling, Bucky finally comes downstairs. Part of what the big deal is becomes instantly apparent as Steve catches his first look. She’s cut her hair, cropped it in a short page cut that does wonders for her cheekbones. It’s so striking, framing her beautiful eyes, that Steve doesn’t realize he’s staring with his mouth hanging open until Winnie nudges him. It’s discreet, but Steve still flushes as he snaps it closed once more.

“Hey,” Bucky says shyly, which isn’t like her at all, but a new hair cut in all the years Steve has known her is a big deal.

“Hey,” Steve returns. “Your hair looks… It looks great, Buck.”

“Yeah?” Bucky’s smile is slow and beautiful and how the hell is Steve supposed to love someone else?

“Yeah.”

“Come on, you two,” Winnie says, “take the meat outside to get cooked.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Steve and Bucky both chorus. Bucky grabs the burgers and the hotdogs while Steve snags the potatoes and stuffed peppers. They carry the lot out to the grill where the uncles are gathered, already arguing about how best to get the fire started. With the plates of food piled high and food in need of fire, they finally get around to it, but Bucky and Steve make themselves quickly out of the way before they’re pulled into help, or set on fire, or both.

“You didn’t tell me you were getting your haircut,” Steve says as they headed toward the back fence, a little away from all the relatives. 

“Couple things I haven’t told you,” Bucky mumbles as she runs her metal hand through her new, short hair. 

“Your big announcement?” Steve asks, shoving his hands into his pockets and scuffing his trainer against the grass. 

Bucky lets out a long breath, dropping her hand back down to her side.

“Yeah.”

When she doesn’t say anything else, Steve feels something nervous slither to life in his stomach. They’ve always shared everything before this year. Is this how it’s going to start? Is this the reason he has someone else’s name on his arm?

“Should I be worried?” Steve tries to laugh, but it comes out weak and hollow.

“No,” Bucky murmurs, but she looks down, wrapping her thick, leather jacket tighter about her shoulders. “I don’t think so.”

“Not gonna tell me?”

“I want to, but,” Bucky shakes her head, “I wanna pull off the bandaid, so to speak. Do it all at once. In front of everyone.”

Though the nervousness continues to squirm in his stomach, Steve bites his tongue. He has never seen Bucky this nervous, not even before her recitals. Whatever is about to be told to the entire family is big. 

“Alright, alright,” Steve concedes, letting out a breath. Bucky doesn’t need any more pressure from him. “I’ll wait with everyone else.”

Bucky bites her lip, looking up at him through her new fringe. 

“Thanks, Stevie.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Steve rolls his eyes and nod back towards the house. “Come on, let’s go see if your mom needs help before she comes looking.”

Bucky shudders.

“Yeah, let’s not let that happen.”

\----

After waiting on pins and needles, Steve is still surprised when Bucky stands up after grace, while the family is just beginning to dig in. The entire backyard falls silent, gazes glancing back and forth, confused and curious at once. Bucky clears her throat and Steve bites his lip. She’s sweating, breathing fast, metal fingers waving at her side, and Steve wishes he could reassure her somehow. Considering he hasn’t a clue what this is all about, he really doesn’t know how to do that.

“I, um, have something I want everyone to know,” Bucky says, voice hoarse and wavering. “You all know I turned eighteen three months ago. What you don’t know is, um.” Bucky looks down, then squars her shoulders. “I... I’m coming out today. I’m trans.” 

“What’s that?” Grandma Myrtle asks loudly.

“That means Bunny is a boy, Grace,” Grandpa Seymore hollers from the other side of the table.

“Y-yeah,” Bucky says, metal hand digging into the plastic table. “I’ve seen a doctor and I’ll be starting the transition process as soon as possible.”

“Thought that took years,” Uncle Barlett grumbles. He’s Winnie’s younger brother and the grumpiest man Steve has ever met. 

Uncle Barlett’s wife, Sunshine - and the happiest person Steve has ever met - lightly slaps his shoulder.

“You have to start somewhere, Barry.”

Bucky’s metal fingers are making little indentations in the plastic table now, but she nods to Sunshine’s statement.

“T-to start, last week I went to the courthouse and I had my name changed. To James. Because,” Bucky took a deep breath as the family starts mumbling and Steve’s jaw drops, “I’ve always been a boy and I just… I hope you all can accept that.”

Bucky sits down hard, blushing as dark as the ketchup bottle. Despite the seriousness of the situation, Steve can only stare at her - him. The entire situation is so shocking, so utterly unexpected, it’s hard to wrap his mind around. Bucky isn’t Bunny. Bucky is James. James Barnes, Steve’s soulmate. The name on his arm. The name he’s been freaking out over ever since he saw it because it isn’t Bucky. But it is Bucky, because Bucky is, has been, a him and not a her.

Steve is getting a headache.

“Well,” Winnie says loudly, folding her napkin in her lap again, “I know I speak for everyone,” her pointed gaze sweeps the table, “when I say we still love you, baby. You’re always gonna be my child. Besides,” she sniffs, “I always wanted a boy. Your papa, rest his soul, wanted one too, and I know he’d say the same.”

“Mama,” Bucky starts, beautiful eyes growing damp.

“Oh, honey,” Winnie leans around her now only daughter and hugs Bucky hard, “you should have told us sooner. You’ve been carrying this all by yourself.”

“Love you, mama,” Bucky says, voice muffled by Winnie’s blouse. 

When Winnie lets go, Steve catches Bucky’s wrist and squeezes hard.

“I gotta talk to you,” Steve hisses. 

“Steve,” Bucky starts, brows drawn, face twisting into a worried frown.

“Now,” Steve interrupts. “Privately.”

“Go on, baby,” Winnie says slowly. “We’ll be waiting for you.”

Bucky glances at his mother, then nods and stands up. Steve doesn’t let go of his wrist, dragging him toward the house. Inside, he manages to drag Bucky halfway to the stairs before hi refuses to go another step, feet squeaking against the old wood floor. 

“Steve,” Bucky says, a roughness to his voice belying the iron he’s trying to put in it, “if you have a problem with me -”

“Problem?” Steve squeaks. Tearing at his arm, Steve nearly rips his sleeve as he yanks it up. He does tear the armband as he pulls it off, revealing James Barnes written across his skin. “Bucky, I’ve been - For days, and you -”

Steve doesn’t get another word in. With a gasp, Bucky seizes his arm, holds it out and reads his brand new, legal name on Steve’s flesh. Then he’s pushing Steve against the wall and kissing him, hard and messy, with too many teeth. All that matters to Steve is that it’s Bucky’s lips on his, Bucky’s body pressed to his front, and his hands - metal and flesh - on his shoulders.

“Holy shit,” Bucky gasps, pull away, but not stepping back. “We’re soulmates?”

“Apparently,” Steve laughs, wrapping his arms securely about Bucky’s waist, “and you didn’t tell me.”

“I… I wasn’t sure how you’d react,” Bucky says defensively, going to pull away, but Steve just holds on tighter.

“Clearly,” Steve huffs. “Believe me about the importance of names, now?”

Bucky scowls, but then rolls his eyes. 

“Okay, maybe you’ve had a point.” 

Steve laughs and Bucky punches his shoulder with his metal arm. When Steve winces, Bucky rubs the soon-to-be bruise. 

“Shut up; you’re still a punk.”

“And you’re a jerk,” Steve shoots back, but probably ruins the effect with how sappy his voice sounds when he adds, “but you’re my jerk.”

The soft look in Bucky’s eyes ruins his glare.

“I’m not a possession, Steven.”

“Tell that to my soul mark,” Steve laughs, leaning in for another kiss. Their second is sweet and chaste and slow and perfect. The family is waiting for them and they’ll have to make another announcement when they get back to their cold food, but Steve doesn’t much care. After the last week, the whole world can wait for Steve to enjoy this moment. They’re going to have to work on their communication, but Steve knows they’ll work it out. They work everything out because Bucky is perfect and Steve has been in love with him before he knew what love meant.

\----

“Why James?”

“Grace,” Grandpa Seymore says, picking a seed from his watermelon, “I don’t think you’re supposed to ask questions like that.”

“Hopscotch,” Grandma Myrtle huffs. “We’re gonna all go on calling him Bucky, why in the world wouldn’t he just change the name to Bucky? Why James?”

“It’s hogwash,” Grandpa Seymore says calmly.

Grandma Myrtle draws herself up and whacks Grandpa Seymore with her cane. Not wanting them to see him hide his amusement, Steve hooks his arm around Bucky and hides his smile against Bucky’s shoulder. It doesn’t escape his notice that Bucky moves closer, pressing his shoulder against Steve’s chest.

“It is not!” Myrtle argues. “Bucky and James are perfectly fine names! I just don’t understand why _James_."

“No, Grace,” Grandpa Seymore says, rolling his eyes. “You said hopscotch. It’s _hogwash._ ”

“Jason Seymore,” Grandma Myrtle points her finger at his nose, “I know what I said and if you keep calling James’ new name hogwash, I’ll wash your underthings with the red towels again.”

“No one would take Bucky seriously on a resume,” Bucky interrupts before the argument can get any further. “So I picked James. I liked James.”

“I like James,” Steve says inanely. The gathered family titter, having been more than thrilled to hear Steve’s announcement that he and Bucky are soulmates. Bucky is much less impressed with his comment and elbows him. The blush makes it worth it, though. “What?” Steve laughs. “I do.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Bucky mutters. “I like you, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> [Follow Cleo on Tumblr ](http://cleo4u2.tumblr.com/)


End file.
